Fighting the feeling
by Corinne Marie
Summary: Tonks and Lupin eat breakfast together the morning after the full moon. Written for Smile Life Away's Shakespeare Challenge. Set between the end of OOTP and HBP.


**A/N: Alright loves, here is my first ever Lupin/Tonks fic. Written for Smile Life Away's Shakespeare Challenge. Sorry to Penelope fiction for not using the pairing you suggested, I just had this really great idea...**

**Disclaimer (I've been forgetting lately): All Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling, Romeo and Juliet belong to William Shakespeare.**

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Nymphadora Tonks sat alone at the kitchen table reading a Muggle story called Romeo and Juliet. She wasn't in the habit of doing such things, but lately she and Remus had gotten in the habit of spending their nights of insomnia talking in the kitchen. And it was so easy to talk to him, it quickly became like a drug. And now she was suffering from withdrawal, what with it being a night of the full moon.

But anyway, all that was beside the point. The point was, she was reading this tragic love story that was supposed to be extremely famous, and she could hardly find one good thing about it. All the characters kept making stupid decisions, and the whole story was about fighting. And yet, she couldn't stop reading it. Maybe it was because she was lonely and had nothing better to do, maybe it was because she just had to know what was going to happen in the end, she couldn't quite tell, but something about it was, well, compelling.

And there was one line she just couldn't get out of her head. She turned back to the page she had found it on. It had been said by Juliet, the heroine of the story, during the balcony scene. "O, swear not by the moon, th' inconstant moon," she said, in reply to Romeo's first vow. "That monthly changes in her circled orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable."

The moon, Dora thought to herself, tapping her finger idly on the tabletop. The inconstant moon. Inconstant? No, no, that wasn't right. The moon wasn't inconstant at all. At least it had a pattern, unlike some things in life. Unlike life itself. Again she thought of Sirius, who had been killed just months earlier in the Department of Mysteries and tears sprang to her eyes.

But, unlike most things, the moon was pretty much the same each and every month. It was such an important factor in Remus' life. And now hers too, apparently, seeing as how she couldn't seem to go even a few minutes without thinking about him. What if Remus hadn't been a werewolf? That would have changed a lot between them. Maybe he wouldn't be able to use that stupid "too dangerous" excuse anymore.

But she liked—no, at this point she really and truly loved—him for who and what he was. She wouldn't want him to change at all. Except for his annoying excuses. But other than that, it was a constant in his life. And as annoying as this was, everyone needed a few constants in their life. She liked to think that she was a constant in his life, too, but he had never so much as hugged her. She wasn't quite sure what she was to him.

She was getting sleepy, but she wasn't quite ready to return to her bedroom. So she looked at her book again, but couldn't get farther than a few words before she had to start each sentence over again because she couldn't concentrate. She couldn't quite tell exactly when she laid her head down on the table and fell asleep, but she did, and she dreamed of the moon.

Remus Lupin woke up in pain, although it was nothing compared to those days in the Shrieking Shack, all by himself. That was the first thing he noticed. The second thing he noticed was that he was in a bed he didn't recognize. He didn't question it. He was just glad he was in a bed at all. He stood up and stretched, hearing several pops and cracks as he did so. It almost felt good to feel real, human pain.

And then he noticed that something smelled…delicious. He wandered slowly down the stairs, suddenly recognizing where he was. He was in Nymphadora's house. How had he gotten there? It wasn't important. He was actually more curious as to who was cooking. Dora certainly couldn't. He found his way to the kitchen and noticed that, in fact, no one was cooking. Apparently Molly had simply left food for him—or maybe for them, he wasn't quite sure—in the kitchen. And right next to the food was a very pretty girl who had fallen asleep at the table with a book in her hand.

Dora had always been a fan of bright, eccentric colors. But ever since Sirius' death, her normally bubblegum pink hair had gone back to its presumably natural brown. He couldn't see her eyes at the moment, of course, but as he had seen them lately, they were the same as Sirius' eyes, which he could tell made her feel better and pained her at the same time. But right now, he didn't have to think about that. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. Not that he hadn't seen her sleep before. It was common for her to fall asleep while they were talking at night, and he had had to carry her up to her room, which suited him just fine. Just because he couldn't be with her didn't mean that he didn't want to.

This time, however, he just had to wake her up. He stood behind her and gently rubbed her back. She woke up slowly, groggily opening and closing her eyes. When her eyes did flicker open all the way, she just looked at him for a second before saying, "Remus? What are you doing here?"

"Waking you up, apparently. I think Molly left us some food," he said, conveniently forgetting to remove his hand from her back. She sat up and stretched, consequently leaning into his hand. She didn't seem to notice, but all the same, Remus moved away from her and towards the food, wondering why she had to be so, well, attractive. It was almost unfair.

They sat across the table from each other, eating in silence. Staring at each other. That was the hardest part, just staring at her. After they finished eating, Tonks stood up and started walking to the sink on the opposite side of the table. Remus stood up, too, with the intention of doing the same thing. But right then, Dora tripped. In fact, the way she tripped landed her right in the arms of Remus, who had dropped his plate on the floor when he caught her.

For a second, they just stared at each other. Time seemed to completely stop. And then he helped her stand up again and knelt to pick up the pieces of china from the broken plate. Tonks knelt down to help him, both of them forgetting momentarily that they could have just as easily used magic.

"Don't, Dora, I can take care of it. I don't want you to cut your fingers." He pushed her hand away gently.

"You could cut your fingers just as easily as I can cut mine. And don't tell me what to do," she said, helping him finish up. He sighed heavily and took the pieces of the plate out of her hand. He turned around to throw the pieces away, and when he did, he heard Tonks give a weak laugh.

"What?" he asked, turning around. She shook her head and held her hand out to him.

"I cut my finger." She laughed again. "Damn, that's annoying."

Remus shook his head and laughed too. He took her hand and cast a quick healing spell. "I hate to say I told you so, but…"

"Please don't," she said with a small laugh, "I already feel like an idiot."

Remus held her hand for a few seconds more, enjoying how it felt in his. And then he let her go. For a moment she just let her hand hang in the air between them. And then she let it drop and returned to the table and her book.

Remus only looked at her for a long time. And then he grabbed the book from her hand and teasingly held it above her head while she tried to reach it.

"Oh, Remus, that's not fair!"

To be honest, he didn't know why he was teasing her. It was just so cute to see her eyes go almost red as she got angry with him. He smirked at her. She folded her arms over her chest and huffed at him. He looked up at the title of the book.

"Romeo and Juliet? I read this book once," he said, looking at her again. "Apparently this writer is considered by Muggles to be very good. Have you ever read any of his other work?" He was still holding the book high above her head.

"No. Can you please just give it back, Remus?" She was almost whining now. Such sweet torture.

He handed the book back to her. "You really should. Read the other books, I mean."

"I don't like them," she said, looking at the cover, "They seem to be so silly and unrealistic. Not to mention that the language is long winded and difficult to understand." She was just babbling now, but that didn't matter. She had just noticed how close they were. She could touch him if she wanted, and make it look like an accident. But she didn't.

In fact, to her surprise, Remus reached out and touched her chin, tilting her face up so he could look into her eyes. For a long moment he didn't say anything. And then he spoke. "I've missed your eyes being that color." And that was all.

And suddenly she couldn't resist. She leaned up and kissed him, her lips brushing oh so gently against his. And then he couldn't resist either. He kissed her back, not exactly gently, either. Dora wrapped her arms around his neck, and he rested one hand on her back, but it only lasted for a few seconds. After far too short a time, he pushed her away and Disapparated on the spot.

And now she was confused. What did it mean? It just wasn't fair that he could just confuse her like this. She considered complaining out loud for a moment, and then decided it was pointless and sat back down again, eager to get back to her book.

As for Remus, he had simply Apparated right in from of her door. He stood outside her house for a long time, not knowing why. And it wasn't just that he didn't know why he was still standing there after ten minutes. He also didn't know why he had kissed her, after all those well constructed arguments and fully structured plans to keep his heart from running away with him. He didn't know why he had even stayed as long as he had. And he certainly didn't know why he was so attracted to her.

Maybe this was meant to be, though. Dora wasn't likely to change her mind anytime soon, and his resolve was quickly weakening. Maybe his destiny was already set out and there was nothing he could do to change it. But that didn't matter. He would do everything he could to keep her safe, even if it meant staying away from her. Even if that would be extremely difficult now. It had to be done.

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